The Talk….

20 Sep

Photo: Laurie McAdam. The Modesto Bee 2007

Well, they day is finally here. This morning marked quite a milestone in my little one’s life…..the day we started “The Talk….”

You know that dreaded talk that parents cringe to think about? Now mind you, this is my third time with “The Talk…”

First time was with my boy. We had many talks about the birds and the bees….most of them with him turning red and squirming. I used to love to gauge his reaction when I would add the tagline “Now if you have any questions about the mechanics of sex, just tell us, and your father and I would be happy to act them out for you….” <— He actually keeps track of how many therapy sessions I owe him for such outbursts…..he’s up past 300 now.

A few years ago, on his 20th birthday, I gifted him a plethora of great how-to sex books. The newest editions of “The Joy of Sex” the original “Kama Sutra” and a newcomer on the scene (to me) called “She Comes First” about how to please a woman. He was sheepish to accept, but I’m sure the literature has served him well….and I couldn’t be more proud of his reading library!! LOL! Much better to place the book in his hands and walk away then try to hash it all out red-faced all around, I say…..

My middle child is ridiculously smart, and not at ALL wanting to talk about sex. She’ll be 14 this December. She is devastatingly beautiful….she literally takes my breath away, so I’m sure many a middle school boy thinks about her. I continue to bring sex up, hoping one time I’ll catch her more eager, and so far she is sheepish and avoids the subject like the plague. But her father and I are diligent in letting our kids know that good sex from mutual consent, respect, and (ideally) love is the ultimate trifecta to the best orgasm possible.

When she finally started her period this year, Hubs got all sweet and bought her a special gemstone necklace to mark the occasion. It’s got her birthstone and a diamond in the middle….a gorgeous flower pendant….gotta love a man who knows when to give jewelry.

And now it’s time to introduce the subject to my 11-year-old daughter. She is entering middle school, and just because she is special needs doesn’t mean she doesn’t need “The Talk…” In fact, because she is disfranchised, she has already been taken advantage of. She was a 4th grader when another 4th grader made her kiss him at recess. It took every essence of my being not to throttle the kid the next time I saw him in the classroom…..

So, how do you tell your pre-teen  daughter about coming of age? I decided to take the über factual approach, describing the uterus, the fallopian tubes, and the upcoming menses, etc. I was trying to make sure she wouldn’t freak out when the time came…..Now, to be fair, with all of her mid-line birth defects, I’m not even sure she will actually start her menses any time soon, but I felt it important to prepare her.

So, we started the discussion in very broad strokes, and it was hilarious to watch her reaction. I stayed calm and full of factual information, and watched her eyes widen as she took it all in. She was obviously ready for the discussion, because she has brought it up to me several times in just 24 hours. She wants to know exactly where babies come from, how sperm is made, and the ins and outs of the entire process…..kill me now.

Who knows if/when the discussion will end? But, I’d really rather her hear it from me than anyone else.

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4 Responses to “The Talk….”

  1. Nancy P (@npowell) September 20, 2011 at 6:33 pm #

    OMG too funny. I am open with my kids but if I gave Nick any of those sex books he would kill me! (He is 23) Now I want to just to see his face turn crimson.

    • thyroidinfo September 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

      LOL! red faced boys are fun!

  2. william manson (@Williamm49) September 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    hehhe we all got to learn sometime, hilarious 😉

  3. Anne Parris (@notasupermom) October 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    Oh, the Talk. I kind of hate it. They lose their innocence a little, but better to hear it from their mama who loves them (and might know a thing or two) than from some other 11-year-old kid as ignorant as they are.

    I find the car to be the best place to have the Talk. You can’t look them in the eyes and they can’t escape.

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