There is an unfortunate trend among some social media dabblers to tweet first and ask questions later. The days of asking to see the manager when you have a complaint has been replaced with reaching for the iPhone and tweeting directly from the dinner table. Don’t like your haircut? Try talking to the salon before giving that one star review on Twitter. You owe it to them to give them a chance to make things right before you go public with scrutiny.

One example: A woman who was unhappy with her haircut and color at a local salon, but waited a full three months before unleashing a rant on Yelp that was so scathing that it would scare anyone away. This woman never called the salon directly, and seemed to just appear out of no where. Her review is front and center on this salon’s Yelp page. It has brought this salon’s rating down a full 1.5 stars, which is quite a bit if you are struggling to keep your doors open.(more on Yelp and their dubious screening practice in another blog)

Another example: A couple who made reservations at a restaurant, and arrived 15 minutes early. It took them 20 minutes to be seated, and they complained about being seated 20 minutes late, even though they really only waited an additional 5 minutes from the reservation time. They similarly started the same mental time clock when they reported how long it took them to get served dinner…counted the 20 minutes waiting for their table as if they had already put in the order…Again, they never said anything during their time in the restaurant, and they never asked to speak to a manager, nor did they express any kind of displeasure to their server. They then ranted, not just to Yelp, but to Citysearch, Trip Advisor, and Urban Spoon.

As the Social Media Director to several smaller businesses, I see my role as cyber GM…I must patrol the social streams daily and alert business owners when something has gone awry. Often times, I can catch a disgruntled patron tweeting while they are still in a restaurant, and it takes a quick phone call to remedy. But I am shocked at how many times I will call a restaurant to let them know that “customer X didn’t like the clams” only to find out that the patron never told their server this information. Customers have a right to satisfactory service and quality products, but they also have a responsibility to go through the proper channels before taking their grievances public.

I’m not saying that it is necessary to add an extra star for the small mexican hole in the wall restaurant vs. the neighborhood Applebees, but I dare say that each mom and pop establishment can be just one bad Yelp review away from obscurity. So, please think twice before you press send on that scathing review, and make sure you’ve given them a chance to make it right before you go around publicly scrutinizing.

This is how I think  it should go:

So please measure twice before you cut once. Think before you tweet, and tweet responsibly. Okay…stepping off my soapbox!!

This song was #1 on the Billboard Charts on the day I was born. You’ll have to sleuth yourself to see how old I am

I plan to play this song at my memorial when I die. I figure if it brought me into the world, it can take me out!!

What’s your song? Look it up here. Then let me know in the comments below what YOUR song is.

Klout just recently added an option allowing us to suggest topics for our friends and contacts to share +K  on  Klout. They claim it’s to let us have more control over out topics. I gave up when they suggested “Lambs” as a topic of influence for me long ago….

I have enjoyed punking my friends, by giving them +K forsomething innocuous like “blogging” but tweeting “I gave John Doe +K for puppy snuff films” or “I gave Suzy +K for underwater prostitution”…..you get the idea.

So, when my twitter pal Jim (@leaderswest) gave me +K last week for the topic of “Dannie Heineman Prize for Astrophysics” I thought he was getting me back for last month’s +K for baby porn…..turns out, the Dannie Heineman Prize for Astrophysics was a REAL catagory now!! And, checking back, I noticed that HE had “David Hasselhoff” as a topic of interest on his Klout page as well….

Turns out, you can’t just make up the topics: they are suggested by Klout. Here is a sampling, and NO I am NOT making this up!!

So, which of these would YOU like to be influential about? Leave a comment below, and I’ll see what I can do

In November I tweeted a paper star craft that I said I wanted to try. leave it to my good neighbor to call me up and say “Remember that craft you wanted to do? Come over for coffee and let’s DO it!!”

So, we three Girls of clan McShane headed over, paper cutters and glue dots in hand to the neighbor’s house to make paper stars. It was actually a very easy project, and even my special needs daughter could be proud of the stars she made. For directions CLICK HERE. As you can see, we didn’t even use holiday paper or even holiday colors. We used square scrapbooking paper, which was the perfect size and weight, and already perfectly square!

assorted colorful paper

But I really fell in love with the idea of a country mish-mash of fun vintage paper stars and chains. We went a little crazy. But, that’s just my style. Went to Michael’s and bought vintage Christmas scrapbook paper and went to town!! Paper chains are such a fun and easy craft for kids of all ages!

Paper Chains...

In the  end, we hung the stars from different colored ribbons all over our home, and hung the chains in doorways. Very festive and fun! Here is a photo of a grouping of stars over a couch with up-lighting:

Is this a craft you might try?

Of the many controversies in the Twitterdom, perhaps the most polarizing is the idea of Direct Messages (DM) upon Following. It is common practice for people to send you an automatic DM immediately upon being followed. They are usually something along the lines of:
“Hey! Thanks for following! For even better engagement, follow me on FB xyz.com.bit.ly”

Many Social Media experts take offense to being asked to engage further when they’ve just started following, while other SM experts have told me that Auto DMs are the way of life. Being the people-pleaser that I am, I found a way to make both camps happy, while engaging on a deeper level with my new followers almost immediately.

How, you ask?

(lean in, and I’ll whisper it to you……)

I simply have the following as my auto DM:

“Knock, knock!”

It solicits an enthusiastic response from approximately half of the people who get the auto DM. The range of responses are from the typical “Who’s There” to “Welcome! Please sit a spell and enjoy a spot of tea!” It has been a very successful way to wage engagement, and I’ve got my knock knock joke down. It’s fast and easy and a fun way to start-up a conversation with a new Tweep.

How about you? Do you have a favorite Auto DM? Or do you still hate them?

So, today the inevitable happened. I dropped a ball. With a thunderous thud. It was not one of those be-all-end-all catastrophic lose your job mistakes, and frankly it was one where I could’ve passed the responsibility off to someone else. But I didn’t, and here’s why.

Years ago I was in a college chamber choir. Lots of eight part intricate harmonies and so mistakes would happen during rehearsal. One afternoon the conductor stopped us all and said, “You know, it will save us a lot of time if who ever sang the wrong note would just raise up one pointer finger so I can find you. Raising your finger will tell me that you know it was your mistake, and then when you take that pointer finger and point to yourself it will tell me that you will take it on yourself to work it out outside of rehearsal.” This proved a most effective and time efficient way to deal with the rehearsal process, and one I’ve transferred over to my directorial and business ventures.

It takes much less time to own any or all part of responsibility and then move on. Your clients/bosses/managers don’t have time to play the “button, button, who has the button?” game. It is just easier to own up to the mistake, express regret and offer a solution to keep it from happening again. This usually takes no more than 30 seconds, and will make you look much better in the long run. Accountability is key.

Stepping off soapbox now….

I used my handy dandy Dremmel tool to cut a hole in the side of a used toy box…. carefully sanding the edges to keep the cats safe:

Winston and Ralphie approve!! Note: There is only 14″ of headroom in this toybox, and I was afraid it would be too small for them to use, but the proof is in the tootsie rolls! (No, I would NOT post THAT photo They have been using it with no incident for 2 days now. Hubs is happy, Mommy’s happy and the novelty of it hasn’t worn off on the girls, who clean the letter every morning.

Note…I lined the bottom with removable adhesive shelf paper to allow for easy cleaning, and I also threw in a folded over piece of non-slip shelf liner to act as an attractant to encourage more kitty litter to stay in the box…..so far the amount of litter on the floor is decreased by 99% (nothing is perfect, right?)  I also love how there is room to spare to hold the litter scoop…..which used to just sit on the side of the box and add to the  unsightly mess.

All in all, it took $20 and about 20 minutes to do this project……win/win in my book!! Cheers!

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Photo: Laurie McAdam. The Modesto Bee 2007

Well, they day is finally here. This morning marked quite a milestone in my little one’s life…..the day we started “The Talk….”

You know that dreaded talk that parents cringe to think about? Now mind you, this is my third time with “The Talk…”

First time was with my boy. We had many talks about the birds and the bees….most of them with him turning red and squirming. I used to love to gauge his reaction when I would add the tagline “Now if you have any questions about the mechanics of sex, just tell us, and your father and I would be happy to act them out for you….” <— He actually keeps track of how many therapy sessions I owe him for such outbursts…..he’s up past 300 now.

A few years ago, on his 20th birthday, I gifted him a plethora of great how-to sex books. The newest editions of “The Joy of Sex” the original “Kama Sutra” and a newcomer on the scene (to me) called “She Comes First” about how to please a woman. He was sheepish to accept, but I’m sure the literature has served him well….and I couldn’t be more proud of his reading library!! LOL! Much better to place the book in his hands and walk away then try to hash it all out red-faced all around, I say…..

My middle child is ridiculously smart, and not at ALL wanting to talk about sex. She’ll be 14 this December. She is devastatingly beautiful….she literally takes my breath away, so I’m sure many a middle school boy thinks about her. I continue to bring sex up, hoping one time I’ll catch her more eager, and so far she is sheepish and avoids the subject like the plague. But her father and I are diligent in letting our kids know that good sex from mutual consent, respect, and (ideally) love is the ultimate trifecta to the best orgasm possible.

When she finally started her period this year, Hubs got all sweet and bought her a special gemstone necklace to mark the occasion. It’s got her birthstone and a diamond in the middle….a gorgeous flower pendant….gotta love a man who knows when to give jewelry.

And now it’s time to introduce the subject to my 11-year-old daughter. She is entering middle school, and just because she is special needs doesn’t mean she doesn’t need “The Talk…” In fact, because she is disfranchised, she has already been taken advantage of. She was a 4th grader when another 4th grader made her kiss him at recess. It took every essence of my being not to throttle the kid the next time I saw him in the classroom…..

So, how do you tell your pre-teen  daughter about coming of age? I decided to take the über factual approach, describing the uterus, the fallopian tubes, and the upcoming menses, etc. I was trying to make sure she wouldn’t freak out when the time came…..Now, to be fair, with all of her mid-line birth defects, I’m not even sure she will actually start her menses any time soon, but I felt it important to prepare her.

So, we started the discussion in very broad strokes, and it was hilarious to watch her reaction. I stayed calm and full of factual information, and watched her eyes widen as she took it all in. She was obviously ready for the discussion, because she has brought it up to me several times in just 24 hours. She wants to know exactly where babies come from, how sperm is made, and the ins and outs of the entire process…..kill me now.

Who knows if/when the discussion will end? But, I’d really rather her hear it from me than anyone else.

So many titles, so little time. With every bio I read on Twitter of Google+ I come across yet another inventedly bloated version for social media person. It is NOT enough to say you dabble in social media….you must proclaim yourself an expert. I find this funny, because I’ve run across so many crazy names along the way. Some inventive, some over-reaching, and some just plain silly.

So here is my quick and dirty list of favorite self-appointed social media titles of all time:

• Social Media Ninja- Just who are they hired to kill? And do they show up for work in the shinobi shozoko?
• Social Media Guru – seriously? Which social media swami died and made you guru?
• Social Media Czar- same as above, but insert Slavic ruler for swami.
• Social Media Rockstar- Now, while I love Social Media, and I love Rockstars, this title makes me wonder what a green room with Scobelizer would feel like with The Rolling Stones in it with him? Could you imagine Mick Jagger “So, what is it with this ‘Twittah’ thing? I don’t follow?….”
• Professional Chatter Monkey- Yeah, I’d pay big bucks to hire this person to speak to my Board of Directors….
• Virtual Worlds Developer- Sounds like someone who plays with 20 sided dice to me. Not someone I want to pay hourly…..

It is impossible to look back 10 years later and not wonder if things could have played out differently. I have mused for the past 24 hours about how social media may have changed the face of that ill-fated day. Imagine if Twitter were able to reach out to the people in the buildings and urged them to exit immediately. Imagine if the Port authority  had used smart phones and text messages to warn those within a 1 mile radius in real-time, ala Amber Alert. Employees had been urged not to panic, and told to stay where they were, but imagine if they had access to real-time information and could make a judgement call for themselves?

Now, to be fair, it may have made goodbyes to loved ones lost even tougher if there was iPhone footage from the 92nd floor. And to put myself in the shoes of widows and children left behind makes me shudder. And hindsight is 20/20.

But I will always wonder if Social Media might have saved more lives that day. God Bless America. Never Forget.